Better living through pharmacueticals

Although Detroit has been nothing but gray and rainy today, I am reminded of the old Johnny Nash lyrics:

     I can see clearly now, the rain is gone,
     I can see all obstacles in my way
     Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
     It's gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
     Sun-Shiny day.

I realized over Spring Break that I was feeling a sense of happiness that I hadn't felt in months (and not just because I was back in my beloved Colorado!).  Over the years I've gotten pretty adept at recognizing when clinical depression was creeping back into my life and could take steps (seeing my doctor or therapist, going back on meds, etc.) to mitigate it, but somehow it just crept up on me this time and laid me out in ways that hadn't happened in years.

Thankfully, I did finally realize there was a problem, reached out for help and got it.  While my life is still very stressful and full of anxiety and chronic pain, the oppressiveness of my depression has lifted making life and school feel more manageable again.  In the 3 weeks since I began taking Cymbalta, my depression has almost completely dissipated.  This week I have also felt a decrease in my daily anxiety levels, which is hugely helpful.  I'm still not noticing much, if any affect on my pain levels, but I know it could take 6 to 8 weeks to achieve full affect.  As the song lyrics indicate, I am seeing much more clearly now and it is easier to tackle the challenges that still lie ahead.

It really is true what they say...you need to take care of yourself before you can take care of others.  Or perhaps it is more true to say it is way easier to take care of others if you take care of your self first.  The patients I see every week on the Med/Surg floor, in the Psych unit, and now in Rehab remind me that I want to lead a full, healthy, and sane life, while also helping others and being the best nurse I can.  My current life lesson seems to be about retaining balance.  I think its gonna be a bright, bright, bright, sunshiny day.

Thank you to all my cheerleaders and supporters, both near and far who helped me get through these very challenging few months.  All of your comments on Facebook, here on the blog, via email and snail mail make me feel very loved and grateful.  Love and gratitude.

Peace and compassion...